Days before a banana was taped to a wall and recently sold for a reputed $120,000 at Art Basel Miami, a prehistoric sculpture of a dinosaur was found taped to a basement wall in a home in El Cerrito, California.
One can imagine the surprise of workers clearing the area to construct a new bathroom. All work has been halted, and the space has been vacated, pending the arrival of experts.
Historians, archaeologists and cryptographers from the nearby campus of the University of California, Berkeley, and the local firm Neel-Altay Paleontology Consultants, Inc. are due here later today.
This phenomenon may take some time to explain, especially because some clay tablets were found nearby. Barely visible are scratches that could be a heretofore unknown form of written language, and may contain instructions on how this artwork should be mounted and displayed. Additional care will be essential because of the fragility of the ancient duct tape.
When the tablets have been deciphered, I may offer the first opportunity of public display to my friend, Dr. Lawrence Rinder, Director of the Berkeley Art Museum.
My wife and I feel that the item could be ready for the newly established Art Basel El Cerrito in about a year or two.
We’ll wait for the exhibition to be opened by the next President of the United States, because the current one wishes to impose tariffs on all art transactions that do not include “Ivanka”-branded supplies, manufactured in North Korea. We look forward to establishing a price for this unique piece, but at this moment it remains priceless.